One day...

One day I will punch this supervisor in that face and kick his guts. =A=

I work IT, obviously I know what I am doing. Ever since he started working here, he blames other people and doesn't listen to a single word I say. Argues with me all the time and when I'm waiting on another service from another department, he doesn't tell you it's done and goes straight to your boss to make you look bad so he can fire you.

This son of a bitch will be punched in the face soon. I have surpassed my anger for 20 years. I wonder how he would like it when he crosses my patient line and get pummeled to death.

Anger Explosion, here I come!

Why can't you see that the fish is DEAD?!

From: Hyperbole and a Half

This blog is beautiful. It explains well how depressed people see the world and why normal people could never understand that normal optimistic ways actually hurts us more. Through the last 9 years of my life, everyone always told me "Everything will be ok." "Be strong." "Think positively." And every time I would nod and fakely smile. But every time that happened, it actually hurt me more; like have a knife stabbing you numerously.

I also have to agree with the post, the world is warped. When your in depression, it is not because you are feeling sad as the name implies, but it is when you no longer feel anything. What is happy? What is sad? What is angry? You adjust your face accordingly as how you think it should look like. When the world is warped, it is much like watching an old movie, you watch everyday just pass by you without a goal or an ending. 

There is also no way to say you need help. You can kick and scream, write it on the giant billboard, or just plain cry your eyes out for no apparent reason, everyone else around you won't help. They think you are a drama queen. They don't recognize that you are in danger (even with friends who were studying this field). That was something I suffered with for 6 years. Telling my (so called) friends everything I felt, cried on the phone and even mentioning that I might be crazy, yet not a single one of them would do anything. As long as you spend "fun" times with them that is all that matter as that is what they call "friends". And when I can no longer be "that" friend, they were the first to dump you like yesterday trash. I've always felt alone whenever we were out, everyone had been throwing all these positive emotions about and in your face. I was forced to say so many lies to not ruin their mood or to try to fit in and be invisible amongst the crowd. That fact alone you realize that no one BUT yourself can save you, no matter how much you shouted that you need help, and that fact alone made me even more depressed. 

And these fishes, yea... gotta agree with it too. No one sees the dead fishies.... 

Depression isn't a joke. It is a serious matter.

Too bad majority of the popular don't think like that. 

And the worst is when your family and friends don't take it seriously either...

Xseed Acquires Atlus Online, Becomes Marvelous USA | Siliconera

Xseed Acquires Atlus Online, Becomes Marvelous USA | Siliconera

I'm 50:50 on this. Sad though, Atlus and AO should be independent  Seeing them merge is like seeing SMT series merge with Pokemon...

Made a new characters for lawlz while I attempt to find the remainder of my shock melee items. DX Lv 25 with a rank 7 Hagalaz Odin was able to solo ichi gold. Minus my 13 death, it was quite a lol moment. Probably won't do that again until I finish my Odin. 

Been playing Reign of Dragons on iphone. Finally got to join the guild I wanted which contains all the best players in the game. Guild vs Guild event next time so I'm looking forward to it. Hope we win top 3.

Lesson of the month: If you have nothing nice to say then don't say it. Words hurt more than being stabbed with a sword. Just how I've been feeling lately about certain people =/ Going to continue staying in the shadows for me and stay silent. 

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone! I'm finally off for the holidays. For once I am not working this holiday yet I feel anything but relax LOL. I think I might quit MMOs for a while, Digimon's grind bored the crap out of me, Guild Wars just got repetitive (And gawd, there are awful players... and I was awful enough!), and also went back to Megaten for the last two weeks. Yea definitely don't miss the QQer's and drama. Once I'm done upgrade my melee I think I'll leave it alone again, was thinking of coming back but blah, community has proved me wrong. Extazy is also very different, I personally feel its for the worse so I rarely stay for long. I really miss the old days like everyone else. Life? Don't got one. D: Been stupidly busy at work and at home. It's like they expect me to help them off hours just because I am IT. Are you kidding me?! You be nice and people take advantage of you. Such a sad world we live. T^T I had decided to buy a DSLR since I've been interested in photography since High School so now that I can afford one, I got one on Black Friday. So many beautiful things in this world waiting to be captured, especially my cat! Ahahahha, just kidding. My Kitten, well she's still adorable as ever but still a brat. I feel like I'm taking care of a 5 years most of the time. xD That hyper thing. But we all love her. I've also updated my synth site after a gruesome one year of no time. Definitely coming back in game to get the Pope set, SI it, check Synth %, kill something and then log off for Sera to never see daylight again. I love synthing, unfortunate;y I dislike the current community so very, very much. Just and update post. :) I'm still alive and kicking. Happy end of the world day 3. Ahahahaha!

Blue buffalo is better than Iams. Period.

So it's 5am and I've beenup since 3am because my damn body doesn't want to sleep. So I went to catfiodreviews.com and just facepalmed for the last two hours. If you been feeding you cats garbage food all it's life, like Iams, Science Diet, fancy Feast,etc. And switch to a grain-free and by-product free food, the transition will take a while - Like several months to a year. All of those issues, diarrhea and vomiting is caused by bad transition, and your garbage food from the past. Think of it this way, if you've been eat junk food all your life and switching to bland home cooked meal, of course you'll be sick! It takes a year or two+ for humans to get used to the healthier change and so do cats. I've had cats all my life and my mother too, so finally changing to better quality (or I call it 'real food' since cats are naturally carnivorous) shows in Kiki's eyes, coat and activity. So the next time you or someone you know is making the better choice please be educated first! Vets won't tell you this because they make money from the food they sell at the clinic. And no offense, Science Diet isn't even real cat food. So just be weary. And dear god, pet insurance please! They are like people, health issues cannot be 100% healthy and risk-free with living thing.

And speaking of Vet, we finally found one that is more practical and was not after our wallets. He took the time to bond with our kitten and everyone in the clinic owns special and domestic cat breeds so they were highly educated. Laser surgery option for less painful surgery and very very small shelf of crap food plus they offering boarding. The other vets were quite the opposite, large shelf of science diet, no overnight after surgery stay and had their certificates plaster everywhere to cover up their uncaring nature. Luckily Kiki bit him during his rough examination and slow injection.

That's my morning rant, I'm going to be a zombie at work today Dx Frig I better not turn insomniac ;A;

I'm Alive!

Err...somewhat alive, considering that I got a full time job the day after I finished school. Fun stuff! *falls over from exhaustion* So besides illness depleting my soul, I have been good. Got addicted to Diablo 3 for two months before all the patches just killed it for me.

So I went back to Digimon Masters and continue to hoard 5/5 digimons xD ahahaha. Guilmon and Dorumon are still my favorite *-* My Betamon (for the Kudamon top 10 contest) is currently 2nd on Leviamon Server for size. As long as I stay top 5 I can get my Kudamon that I have been after *-* And my last post of dream digimon is totally fulfilled. Now my new goal is BM and Kudamon. I heard Dracmon was released in KDMO so I'm looking forward when we get him in EDMO.

I'm officially part of the 99% of good players who have quit Megaten. So sad. I do go on it every blue moon and use it as a 5GB MSN. :/ Just because I have a hard time getting a hold of some people Dx

So everyone knows I'm dating Haburi from Megaten right? We finally got to meet in real life for the first time (After two years) and it was love at first sight all over again. He is the most magnificent person I have ever met and humorous too. I just can't believe we haven't met sooner.

So I'll leave off with cuteness that will kill you all (as I already been killed every second of my life now). Meet Kiki. She is a pure (4 generation of) Scottish Fold. She was given to me by my mom as a graduation present in June. Thanks mom! I love her. She may be cute but don't be fooled! She can be a little runt. xD



She has huge eyes, small nose and mouth. Kinda reminds me of anime characters with their gigantic eyes.