Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Why can't you see that the fish is DEAD?!

This blog is beautiful. It explains well how depressed people see the world and why normal people could never understand that normal optimistic ways actually hurts us more. Through the last 9 years of my life, everyone always told me "Everything will be ok." "Be strong." "Think positively." And every time I would nod and fakely smile. But every time that happened, it actually hurt me more; like have a knife stabbing you numerously.

I also have to agree with the post, the world is warped. When your in depression, it is not because you are feeling sad as the name implies, but it is when you no longer feel anything. What is happy? What is sad? What is angry? You adjust your face accordingly as how you think it should look like. When the world is warped, it is much like watching an old movie, you watch everyday just pass by you without a goal or an ending. 

There is also no way to say you need help. You can kick and scream, write it on the giant billboard, or just plain cry your eyes out for no apparent reason, everyone else around you won't help. They think you are a drama queen. They don't recognize that you are in danger (even with friends who were studying this field). That was something I suffered with for 6 years. Telling my (so called) friends everything I felt, cried on the phone and even mentioning that I might be crazy, yet not a single one of them would do anything. As long as you spend "fun" times with them that is all that matter as that is what they call "friends". And when I can no longer be "that" friend, they were the first to dump you like yesterday trash. I've always felt alone whenever we were out, everyone had been throwing all these positive emotions about and in your face. I was forced to say so many lies to not ruin their mood or to try to fit in and be invisible amongst the crowd. That fact alone you realize that no one BUT yourself can save you, no matter how much you shouted that you need help, and that fact alone made me even more depressed. 

And these fishes, yea... gotta agree with it too. No one sees the dead fishies.... 

Depression isn't a joke. It is a serious matter.
Too bad majority of the popular don't think like that. 
And the worst is when your family and friends don't take it seriously either...

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